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Helderberg Exotic Cats (and Russian Brides)

from Schoon's Hardshell by Bender Melon

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about

A local purveyor of felines and other associated products caters to lonely men of the hills

lyrics

I went up to take my stand
but I need her to hold my hand
I can't do this all by myself
I've reached the end of my life on this shelf

I'm going up to my local store ('cuz)
there's no one walking through that door
I hoped I'd find myself a stray
but I keep scaring them all away

Looking through the catalog
Don't want to find myself a dog
Trying to get a perfect ten
and find myself a furry friend

I don't know what else to try
Tired of feeling dead inside
Going up there to increase my pride
Get a Bengal cat and a Russian bride

I know that there's a bunch to adopt
But then you do don't know what you've got
Here I've found just what I need
She's guaranteed to be a pure breed

You can have six months to decide
Not for the cat, but for the bride
If you're tired of the double entendre
Or find that she's too much for ya
Can send her on back to Russia

credits

from Schoon's Hardshell, track released November 5, 2010
Bender Melon

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Bender Melon New Scotland, New York

If a hermit living in a Helderberg cave makes a noise does anyone hear it?

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