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Schoon's Hardshell

by Bender Melon

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1.
Fate Tain 02:55
I like thinking about nothing Maybe you do too I like thinking about nothing I like thinking of you I like drawing pictures Using glitter and glue Drawing pictures of nothing Drawing pictures of you I like ghosts I like currency I like a vacuum And immortality I like talking about nothing Saying nothing new I like talking about nothing I like talking about you I like watching nothing Like the evening news I like watching nothing I like watching you I like time I like emptiness I like mirrors of Things that I can’t see
2.
I went up to take my stand but I need her to hold my hand I can't do this all by myself I've reached the end of my life on this shelf I'm going up to my local store ('cuz) there's no one walking through that door I hoped I'd find myself a stray but I keep scaring them all away Looking through the catalog Don't want to find myself a dog Trying to get a perfect ten and find myself a furry friend I don't know what else to try Tired of feeling dead inside Going up there to increase my pride Get a Bengal cat and a Russian bride I know that there's a bunch to adopt But then you do don't know what you've got Here I've found just what I need She's guaranteed to be a pure breed You can have six months to decide Not for the cat, but for the bride If you're tired of the double entendre Or find that she's too much for ya Can send her on back to Russia
3.
Please remain on the line Please note you may moments of silence while you wait Please continue to hold Please stay on the line To get more Please remain on the line and we will explain Your call is important to us
4.
Local Hero 06:12
Sometimes I guess it's hard to tell there is poison in the well but for now we're feeling fine i think it's just a matter of time Winter's summer, the bats are dead Honeybees all lost there heads One of these days we all better learn even rats leave a house before it burns Born in a fallout shelter and weaned on benzene My first words were helter skelter in a cloud of leaded gasoline Eyes are tired and bones they ache i hear a sound and my hands they shake I reach for the bottle but the bottle breaks Don't know how much more or what else I can take. The landfill's the biggest hill in town They say someday it's something we'll ski down All I know is it's good to have around It might save us when we all start to drown. There is no silence there is no dark They turned the wilderness into a park We're drilling holes into the planet's heart Just to see how far it might break apart. We all look out over the ruins Of this house of delusion It might be time for a poison pill I suggest we use a junk shot followed by a top kill Up the road, the stone's grave yawns for anomalies on suburban lawns Some scars grow, they never heal resistant to a chemical peel. You can't eat the scenery.
5.
6.
Asked the bartender for an IPA, he brought a Dogfish Head A few sips later I thought something in the lines might be dead That didn’t mean I didn’t finish the beer, It just meant I’d have to wait until next year for it to taste less weird So I thought I’d order a mixed drink, get myself a cocktail But I only know two or three, all I know is I didn’t want that ale So I ordered a manhattan and the bartender went on his way A stranger tapped me on the shoulder and went on to say: ‘You ordered that drink wrong.’ I said ‘What?’ ‘You ordered that drink wrong’ I said ‘What? ‘ ‘You should have ordered it up, it will last a while longer’ ‘When it’s up that drink’s gonna be a little stronger’ At that point I was confused a bit taken aback Usually I’ll order just a single malt with a water back, but he said… Do I know you?’ He continued down this line even though I didn’t ask Explaining all the benefits of the shape of the glass He said he gets his perfect and that maybe I should too I might be uncouth but I don’t care about vermouth, but he said… Are you talking to me? Have we met before? He said I should get the bitters lemon-thyme Forget the cherry get a lemon rind I know the bartender’s busy and I guess I waste their time i didn’t say the brand but don’t they l have something in mind but that guy said... Uh, your friend’s standing in my way...
7.
8.
9.
Walked in silence out into the night Left in silence closed the door to the fight Stood in silence staring at the sky Stood saying her goodbyes Back then you could see the stars at night Back then they’re weren’t so many streetlights Opened the car door and sat down to drive Hoping it might make her feel alive She didn’t have anywhere to go And didn’t want anyone to know Then it started to snow Stared out the windshield at relics of the past Training wheels, garden tools, five gallons of gas Stared out at the Flexible Flyers on the wall There was a time she didn’t care about a fall When she didn’t have anywhere to go and didn’t want anyone to know What she did out there in the snow A time standing at the top of the road A running start, a dive onto that sled Not caring what would happen Didn't care if she hit her head Didn’t have anywhere to go Headfirst on down the road Flexible Flyers in the snow
10.
He cut through my backyard today Over his shoulder he looked this way Then he quickly looked away Like he might run screaming Screaming I wish noone any harm I grew up here on this farm My house now falls around me Around me We sold them their land Worked with our own hands They don’t understand Stab me with a hardened stick Make it crooked or make it thick But make it short and make it quick Stab me while I’m sleeping Cover me with that heavy clay I have nothing left to say and nowhere else to go today I’ll miss Staring at the sky With my one good eye Waiting here to die

credits

released September 8, 2014

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Bender Melon New Scotland, New York

If a hermit living in a Helderberg cave makes a noise does anyone hear it?

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